Wendy's Life's Story
More questions than answers
As a young teen, I constantly desired to change something about myself or help those in my world make changes. I wanted to respond in more loving ways... I wanted to be more motivated to do certain things... I couldn’t figure out how I had so many male friendships, yet none romantic... I was tired of being frustrated by people that didn’t live up to my expectations... I felt alone... sometimes I felt special, but didn't know what to do with that... I felt confused about who I was... I had so many questions and so few answers.
Raised with Christian beliefs
I was brought up in a home where I was introduced to biblical teachings. I listened to preachers -- searching for the answers. But not finding what I was looking for, I went to other denominational churches hoping their religions had the answers. Then, in my late teens, I found various motivational speakers -- and I learned to do many positive affirmations. I read every self-help book I could -- both in the Christian bookstores and the secular ones. Still, that wasn't enough. And with each new attempt, my heart was filled with renewed hope that I had found the tools that would finally allow me to: 1) free myself from the frustration and confusion of trying to understand who I am, 2) answer the question, what is my lifes purpose? And, 3) change the many things in my life that I wanted to change. Eventually, I joined a 12-step program, hoping that would take care of at least one of the many areas of my life that needed my attention.
Divorce... my family was falling apart
I somehow thought if my parents couldn't make it work, I was responsible, even though I was 28 yrs old. Feeling ill-equipped to handle what was happening within my family -- was an under statement. I felt I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. The people in my church and other close friends did their best to help me through, but I knew I needed something more. So, I went into personal therapy which opened the doors for me to also experience group counseling and an Inner Child workshop. I went into all of these, thinking these therapies would help me cope with the current family crisis, but what it really did, was to bring me to a new awareness of seeing how my overly dramatic reaction to their divorce had more to do with how I had learned to internalize the meaning of circumstances since early childhood. With all of these therapies, I had for the first time, made some real personal progress! Still armed with self-help books, I graduated from therapy (after 4 years) with my counselor's blessings and was encouraged to, "Go, and live my life!" I felt proud of the changes that I had made. I did feel more in control of my life. I now had boundaries. The role I played in my family was much improved. And I made a powerful career change. It seemed that I had found my life's groove. I still experienced periodic episodes of personal struggles, but with the new, more empowered me, I felt up for the challenges of life. No longer were my reactions to life so out-of-proportion for the circumstances. I felt like, what I thought "normal" was. And that was good.
Transforming message of Tony Robbins
And then once again, the challenges got bigger and unmanageable! Watching a late night infomercial, I was introduced to Tony Robbins. I ordered the cassette tapes and immediately devoured them. I immersed myself in them, not once, not twice, but over over over. I couldn't get enough of them then. And then, I learned he had live seminars available. I was IN! I went to 10 live seminars in less than 2 years. Tony's background credentials were in NLP (Neuro-LIngistic Programming). It was extraordinary! I began to learn really powerful processes of change. And when I would return from a seminar, with these new transformational tools, I would use them on anyone that would give me permission to use them. The changes were incredible like nothing I had ever been exposed to before.
Using the new tools
THIS WAS IT! (so I thought). I had found what I'd been looking for to create the life I wanted. I spent much time doing change work on others using my new tools strategies. And because of this awesome experience, I was high on it for several years. But eventually, I became increasingly aware that a few areas of my life were suffering, and I desperately needed to find a way to create a life that was more balanced. I thought all I needed was a break from the seminars for awhile, so that I could focus on these suffering areas and transform them. However, I later realized, that just utilizing these new tools was not necessarily going to completely fix all my problems. So, even though I was using the new tools correctly, for some reason, it seemed that even more obstacles would appear after doing the change work. And now I didn't know how to get the results I was after.
Old issues regenerating
I have spent most of my life focusing on how to empower the individual. Yet more and more often, regardless of the tools I was using, I found that issues would regenerate or new, but similar problems would arise. So, because of that, I ceased using the tools that I did have to help myself and others because the pain and disappointment was becoming unbearable.
Something was missing
At that point in my life, I fell into a deep depression -- which being the cheerful person that I'd always been -- scared me beyond belief. I had never sank to the feelings of such hopelessness and despair before. I had used every trick in the book I knew and nothing! But, I knew there had to be a way to create permanent change, and I was determined to find it. I didn't know what was going wrong, but I knew something was missing. I had intuited that I WAS on the right track, but something more was needed.
I needed a breakthrough
I prayed and prayed with intensity. And then finally, I felt my prayers were answered. Over the course of several years, I was lead to various trainings and exposed to many new and extremely powerful tools of transformation. I learned processes that caused negative feelings to disappear almost instantaneously, often leaving me laughing and feeling incredibly refreshed & happy! Of course, being skeptical from all the years of trying to get this kind of result, I'd tried as hard as I could to feel those negative feelings again but I couldn't -- they were gone, completely and absolutely gone!!! And it seemed that within no time at all, so many negative issues were totally eradicated from my life. And what was left were positive beliefs that supported me, plus new thoughts & behaviors allowing me to automatically encounter old situations in a new more effective manner.
And they lived happily ever after?
In May 2000, I got married. And I thought I was really ready for the perfect marriage. After all, I waited until I was 39 to be married, I had cleaned up my emotional baggage (so I thought), and had powerful relationship skills on board that I'd learned along my life's path, that I expected that my marriage would be a piece of cake! Well, I was terribly wrong. As my husband told me years later, the woman he fell for, changed the moment I said "I do" -- and not in a good way! We struggled big time as the dream of a perfect marriage was shattered. The first few years, were pretty ugly. Yet, somewhere between the tears & anger, new understandings about life and marriage were creeping into my perspective. I recognized how I was unconsciously acting out the "role of wife" that my mother modeled to me as I was growing up -- oy vey! As the years moved forward, we grew both individually and together, and I can honestly say, we're blooming nicely now. Truly, we've developed a stable marriage. But, a healthy, happy marriage is not something I can just cross off my list. It's a living, breathing thing, that requires nourishment, the right soil and a lot of patience.
And the journey continues...
As I continue to study the latest in psychological therapies and neuro-science (how the brain & mind interact) for personal growth and evolution; I've accumulated numerous certifications in widely recognized schools of transformation. Currently I'm working on my doctorate in Metaphysical Science, and within the process became an ordained Metaphysical Minister too. Only now can I truly say that I understand the phrase: "Life is a journey, not a destination" as we are always changing. Nothing in life is static. So, even after learning all the change skills I've learned, I continue my search to discover more... I'm insatiable that way. Day by day, just being observant of behaviors, I continue to discover new and exciting connections in understanding how to make personal changes faster and easier, thus, escalating my passion for doing change work... as if I could possibly be more excited!
What I've really learned...
I've been purposeful about my life. I didn’t just let life happen to me. When I didn’t like how things were going, I did something about it. I made decisions from a place of deliberate thought, not knee-jerk reactions. I’ve made good use of my life experiences, meaning I’ve learned from the choices I’ve made, and determined whether that choice was one that I would repeat or one that I would not. And I’ve been learning over my lifetime to follow the voice from within, and not do what others expected of me. I was an “A” student in school, but I realize today, that’s not what makes me smart. The fact that I am "Life Smart" is what makes me both smart & unique. Success or failure of life is subjective. And I judge my life as a success because I've used what was given to me, and feel that I've used it wisely. In my life, I feel inner satisfaction. I feel I'm worthy of love. I love myself, and my love for myself is not contingent upon having everything in my life be perfect. I feel I'm a woman that makes a difference.
Ready to share what I've learned
My original intention behind all that I've done in transforming and empowering my own life, was for me personally, and I can't help but recognize the 2-fold purpose here. Because, on a bigger scale, my greatest drive in life is to help others empower their lives... to be all they can be. And I feel through my life's experience and tools, I have something powerful to share. And when I help you feel good, I feel good... a win-win!
From the words of Marianne Williamson from her book: A Return to Love
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."